I know I had brothers and sisters, but I can’t remember them very well apart from the fact that they had white in their coats, and I had none. I must have got lost as I never managed to get back to them after a trip out in the car. For a while I prowled the streets, scavenging what food I could. I remember being hungry all the time. Then I found a garden where there was an old lady playing with the plants or sitting in a chair. She would talk to me. Then she started to give me scraps of meat. Then she bought some food she got out of a tin. And I never left.
I wanted to tell her my name was Soot, but she insisted on calling me Frank. It was to do with something she watched on the magic box. There was a man called Frank Spencer who was married to a woman called Betty, and Frank Spencer always made a mess of things. The old lady was forgetful. I would have to remind her to feed me and give me fresh water. She was clumsy too and broke things. I don’t understand why, but when she had a man visit her, as she did from time to time, she blamed the broken things onto me and the man didn’t like me.
One day, the old lady didn’t get out of bed. I meowed and meowed, but it made no difference. I stayed with her to keep her company and because I was concerned about her. And my next meal. When the man arrived he got the woman taken away in a big van that made a lot of noise. And he put me in something I couldn’t get out of and I had another car journey.
It was a place that had lots of cats. And I lived there for a long time. I’d make friends with other cats by staring and miaowing at them and they would do the same back to me. And then they’d go. Eventually a young woman came. She was called Perdita and she wanted to pick me up and cuddle me. I obliged. And she gave me a new place to live.
After a long time, I got another new place to live with the peculiar man whose car Violet shut me up in. I’m not allowed to say what happened after that – something to do with a ‘spoiler’. But my life wasn’t spoilt at all. It was brilliant.